So I have been contemplating for almost 6 months now about starting up my blog again. I have written numerous blogs with the intention to post but would always talk myself out of it with things like 'Maybe you're not ready yet, no-one will read it, people will judge you and you should just wait.' But here I am writing again. So, here's my update.
9 months ago my Dad and I boarded a plane to Mexico to spend 4 weeks at a Holistic Cancer Centre with the intention to cure my cancer. Prior to going to Mexico I spent three months at a clinic in Melbourne where I was following a protocol put together by my doctor at the time of vitamin infusions, ozone therapy and supplements. Plus a 7 day water and juice fast. All of this was to prepare me for Mexico so I would get the most out of my treatment there.
Dad and I flew in a few days early and spent some time in San Diego, before we crossed the border to our new home for the next 4 weeks. The clinic was full of people of all ages from all around the world with a few others from Australia and New Zealand also, all with the same intention.
Some people were there for treatment whilst others were back there for their check ups and having awesome results, with quite a few in remission. This was so reassuring to see and hear of other people having success with these therapies. My doctor was very confident in my case and was pleased to see my blood results bounce back every week. My therapies included IPT low dose chemotherapy, IV VIT C, IV PNC27, ozone therapy, hyperbaric oxygen chamber, PEMF, IV B17, Rigvir, whole body hyperthermia, local hyperthermia and recall healing. We ate a plant based diet with fish twice a week, juices and daily coffee enemas. My days were jam packed.
Unfortunately my scans at the end of the 4 weeks were not what we had hoped for. Absolutely gutted!! I had done everything I was told to, I prepared myself, I had gotten second opinions from world renowned alternative doctors, I done everything right.
Why me? Fuck you cancer!
This is when I disappeared from social media for quite sometime and stopped blogging. I couldn't bear the thought of writing again. What was I meant to write? In some ways I felt like a failure somewhat similar to when you study your arse off for an exam only to get a D. Although much worse, as this time your life is on the line...
After returning home I found a new integrative GP and naturopath. After back and forth appointments, many tears and many phone calls I was willing to do radiation and surgery. At this stage there was still no way you could convince me to do chemotherapy. Not a chance.
I had a referral to meet my new medical oncologist, who then referred me to a surgeon and then a radiation oncologist who would all be a part of my recovery. My medical oncologist was freaking amazing and supportive of whatever decision I was to make. He looked into other alternatives and different trial drugs that may be helpful for me as he knew I didn't have an interest in chemotherapy at the time. Although once again after many more appts, many more tears and many more phone calls I was somewhat willing to do chemotherapy. Honestly the hardest decision I have ever had to make.
Fast forward to now, I have completed 4 rounds of chemotherapy, 6 weeks of radiation and am waiting for surgery as I write. All the while still embracing a healthy lifestyle.
I won't go into too much detail on my treatments just yet as I am working on another blog to share my experience with you all. Plus some of my tips to share with my fellow cancer warriors that helped get me through on my hard days.
The past 6 months have been somewhat challenging and not how I ever imagined to be spending my early twenties. I've had to dig really deep and be open to the idea of treatments I was not willing to undertake and that scared the absolute crap out of me. I've challenged many of my core beliefs and at the same time seemingly come to the question many times of 'What is our purpose here on earth' and 'Why are we here'?
Asking these questions led me to many meditation classes, soul healers, books, podcasts and TED talks. Through this 'searching' I have found a deeper sense of connection with my inner guide and it has helped me find some peace with where I am at right now in life.
Of course remission and cure is the ultimate goal but for now I choose to be a cancer thriver. My days are no longer filled with fear of dying and research of the latest 'cure' but rather finding joy in the present moment, making conscious decisions for my health and wellbeing and making plans for the future.